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This did not happen / They did not have lunch / They did not have any meal / They did not meet this month
State Dept. official Philippe Reines channeling Dr. Seuss to shoot down rumors that Secretary of State Hillary Clinton lunched with an Obama aide to discuss her potentially replacing Vice President Joe Biden

(Source: weeklystandard.com)

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Most people refer to me who know me, and even in the press, of being a little bit square. And now, [in The Onion], I’m the philanderer. I think it’s hilarious, the stuff they do on me.
Vice President Joe Biden expressing his amusement over how The Onion spoofs him.

(Source: Yahoo!)