February 2012
8 posts
“I’ve been involved in the legislative process for 35 years. Chaos is standard...”
– Rep. John Garamendi (D-Calif.) on congressional gridlock.
“A year ago, Ohio ranked 48th in job creation. We trailed only Michigan and...”
– Ohio Gov. John Kasich, in his 2012 State of the State address.
“You can’t feed a family on potato chips and Mountain Dew.”
– Florida State Sen. Ronda Storms, who introduced a bill to bar welfare funds from being spent on junk food.
“More on Planned Parenthood, abortion by the wholesale.”
– Rep. John Fleming (R-La.) on his Facebook wall, linking to a fake story in The Onion about an $8 billion “Abortionplex.” He deleted the post.
“Your economy get very weak. Ours get very good.”
– An Asian actress in a campaign ad for Rep. Peter Hoekstra, R-Mich. Hoekstra said it was meant to reflect China’s increasingly competitive education system.
“There are some things that you just can’t imagine happening in your life. This...”
– Mitt Romney, on Donald Trump endorsing him during a joint appearance in Las Vegas.
“It was the worst meeting I’ve ever had in my life, honestly.”
– U.S. Sen. Barbara Boxer, on her meeting with Edward DeMarco, acting director of the Federal Housing Finance Agency. According to Boxer, DeMarco said “his interest is making sure Fannie [Mae] and Freddie [Mac] do well financially,” not making homeownership more affordable.
“He’s thinner, he’s better looking, he’s younger. But you asked...”
– Newt Gingrich, during an interview on the “Rich Stevens Radio Show.”
January 2012
17 posts
“Yeah! How you like me now, F.E.C.? I’m rolling seven digits deep! I got 99...”
– Stephen Colbert, in a Federal Elections Commission filing for his super PAC.
“Mr. Bryan confirmed that he had posted on his Tweeter website account that he...”
– A Department of Homeland Security memo on a British couple that was detained overnight upon arrival at Los Angeles International Airport. Bryan explained that “destroy” is British slang for partying, and digging up Marilyn Monroe is a reference to the TV show Family Guy.
“The penguin … just defecated on the floor.”
“Actually,...”
– Kentucky Senate President David Williams and Senate President Pro Tem Katie Stine. Stine was presenting a resolution to honor an aquarium.
“We’ve known about labor abuses in some factories for four years, and they’re...”
– A “former Apple executive” speaking to the New York Times about working conditions at suppliers’ plants in China.
“The selection of a Republican candidate for the presidency of this globalized...”
– Fidel Castro, who was the subject of several barbs during a GOP debate in Florida.
“You know, sometimes, if your candidate loses in just one step along this path,...”
– Sarah Palin on Chris Christie, a Mitt Romney supporter who called Newt Gingrich “an embarrassment.”
“We are not going to just lay down, we come to play. Who the hell do you think we...”
– N.J. Rep. Charles Mainor, a Hudson Democrat, on his Facebook wall. He later apologized and said a friend added in the “gaybirds” part.
“After Wikipedia blackrout (sic), somewhere, a student today is doing original...”
– Jonathan Lamy, RIAA’s Senior Vice President of Communications, regarding Wikipedia’s blackout in protest of SOPA and PIPA. He later deleted the tweet.
“I get speaker’s fees from time to time, but not very much.”
– Mitt Romney humbly referencing the $374,327.62 in speaker’s fees he earned last year, an average of $41,592 per speech.
“Moses, he tried to talk God out of making him go lead the people. He wasn’t a...”
– Rick Perry, on his frequent campaign trail gaffes.
“The fun thing about that is I don’t have to tell you.”
– Stephen Colbert, when asked by Ted Koppel how much money his Super PAC had raised. Super PACs do have to disclose donors and other information, but have found ways to delay those deadlines.
“I like being able to fire people who provide services to me. If someone doesn’t...”
– GOP presidential contender Mitt Romney, on why he believes that people should be able to purchase their own insurance and give companies an incentive to provide good service.
“Convicted of the forgery, insurance fraud, and theft,
he admits the first and...”
– From an opinion by a Pennsylvania Supreme Court judge, Justice J. Michael Eakin, who’s ”known for occasionally distributing justice via poetry,” as the Wall Street Journal puts it.
December 2011
20 posts
“They pick corn in Iowa. They actually pick presidents here in New Hampshire.”
– Jon Huntsman, explaining why his campaign has ignored Iowa in favor of New Hampshire, where he is currently polling in fourth place.
“We really ought to let campaigns raise the money they need and just get rid of...”
– GOP presidential contender Mitt Romney, trying to distance himself from a super PAC founded by his former aides to support his bid for the GOP nomination.
Romney has spoken at the same group’s fundraising events. Six months prior, his spokeswoman said of the group: “We are pleased that...
“This was primarily a U.S. event and we wanted to make sure the Western media was...”
– U.S. military spokesman Col. Barry Johnson, explaining why Iraqi media weren’t invited to the U.S.’s Iraq withdrawal ceremony.
“That’s one of the things that I like about him — because he’s been consistent...”
– Christine O’Donnell, appearing on CNN to endorse Mitt Romney.
“Given the timing of my response, and the fact that I typically received emails...”
– James Murdoch, insisting he never actually read an email sent to him that warned about wiretapping at News of the World.
“I also pledge to uphold the institution of marriage through personal fidelity to...”
– Newt Gingrich, in a letter to the Family Leader, a conservative group in Iowa.
“I want to say it was over $500 million that went to the country Solynda.”
– Gov. Rick Perry, referring to scandal-plagued solar company—not country—Solyndra. (And not “Solynda.”)
“No government in the world kill its people, unless it’s led by crazy...”
– Syrian President Bashar al-Assad speaking to Barbara Walters. Assad’s government has killed an estimated 4,500 people.
“I was the governor, and I should have known better. And I am just so incredibly...”
– Former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich, a Democrat, sentenced today to 14 years in prison on corruption charges.
“I’d like to think of myself as the flavor of the decade.”
– Congressman Ron Paul, explaining his recent jump in an Iowa poll.
“I believe these words came from the Pokemon movie. Life can be a challenge. Life...”
– Herman Cain, announcing on Saturday that he was suspending his presidential campaign. He has quoted the same words in previous speeches, attributing them to a poet.
“Lol.”
– The emailed reaction of Tim Miller, a spokesman for Jon Huntsman’s presidential campaign, upon being asked if Huntsman would participate in next month’s GOP debate moderated by Donald Trump and sponsored by conservative website Newsmax.
“We look forward to watching Mitt and Newt...
“We wouldn’t have an embassy in Iran. I wouldn’t allow that to be there.”
– Rep. Michele Bachmann, on how she wouldn’t allow a U.S. embassy in Iran if elected president. The U.S. hasn’t had an embassy in Iran in more than three decades.
“I have my own army in the NYPD, which is the seventh biggest army in the world.”
– New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg, in a speech at MIT. (Submitted by dannydb)
November 2011
36 posts
“Those who are going to be over 21 on November 12th, I ask for your support.”
– GOP presidential contender Rick Perry, misstating the U.S. voting age, which is 18. Also, the 2012 election is on November 6.
“I don’t even have to pretend to try to be nice to people I don’t like.”
– Rep. Barney Frank, a Massachusetts Democrat, sharing one reason he’s looking forward to leaving office after serving in the House for 30 years .
“There’s probably an infinite number of people who could come forwards.”
– GOP presidential contender Herman Cain, telling CNN that a woman will soon come forward accusing him of an affair that lasted for 13 years. Cain preemptively denied the truth of the accusation.
“I’m Mitt Romney, and, uh, yes, Wolf, that’s also my first name.”
– Mitt Romney, flubbing his own first name, which is actually Willard.
The line came after CNN host Wolf Blitzer, moderator for last night’s GOP debate, asked the candidates to introduce themselves and urged them to keep it short with the following example: “I’m Wolf Blitzer, and...